Dating Advice

Married, but looking for a relationship outside my marriage.

Are you married but unhappy with your relationship for one reason or another?

You are not alone. Many more people stray outside a marriage than stay faithful. Some people can take on a secret affair without ever being found out. But others are well and truly "found out" and the outcome can damage and change your lives.

It's not that you don't love your partner. It's not that you want to CHEAT on them. Yes, there is a big stigma attached to infidelity and it is frowned upon. A cheating man is seen as deceitful and selfish. A woman seeing someone else outside a marriage can be looked on as promiscuous. But no-one else knows your own situation - why you are not happy in your relationship. If you are sure it won't hurt anybody, why should you decide to abstain just to please narrow minded people?

Online Dating is a useful way to test the water with someone other than your husband or wife. It's safe and you can back out of a situation at any time.

Why would you want a relationship outside an apparently happy marriage? People in a relationship drift apart for many reasons, but the top reason is that the love (or sexual part of love) has dwindled. After many years with the same person you might not have the same levels of sex drive. You want it - she doesn't.

Illness, incapacity and poor health can make it hard to survive, so it's easy to understand why extramarital affairs start. Most married people develop a close relationship with their spouse over many years, and it's a big decision to accept that a partner goes elsewhere for sex and companionship. Sometimes a partner just wants to sit at home and watch TV, go to bed early, or just carry on with a hobby, while their other half wants to go out, have fun, meet people and be free to go out with who they want to. This is quite common and a lot of couples accept the "third" person.

What will my family say? You don't need to feel guilty. Your family and friends may criticise you - but you have one life, so live it how you want and to the full. Having said that, you should always try to support and respect a partner if you intend to stay married. Too often a declining relationship results in abuse, neglect and bullying. If you see this in yourself, then try to end the relationship, so that the person you married (for better or worse) can have the same quality of life that you are trying to get for yourself.

There are still a lot of people (of both sex) who won't have anything to do with someone who is married. When dating online it's better to be upfront with your personal profile. Say if you are married or not, and give a good reason why someone should "date" you while you are married. Don't state on your profile that you are single when you are not - it's never going to be easy to form a good new relationship if you lie from the start. Be honest and you will be respected more for it.

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Important Note : Advice on OldFlirt is generalised and given in good faith. Advice may not be suitable for everyone or all situations. OldFlirt cannot be responsible for actions taken based on this advice. To help you make the right decision, please seek professional relationship advice.